How to build resilience at work – without giving up your job
Building resilience at work doesn’t necessarily mean doing less or changing your job (although it can); it’s more about learning to manage the stress that you’re under. Learning how to adapt to situations as they arise. And understanding how to recover when things at work get tough so that you don’t start to creep totally unaware into burnout territory.
What does resilience at work specifically mean?
First of all, let’s address what resilience is not.
You might be under the impression that resilience in women is about repeating a number of toxic positivity mantras like “nothing affects me” or “I can take endless pressure”.
No amount of “reframing” ever made someone more resilient.
Resilience takes work. It’s a means to adapt and cope with stressors in the workplace.
There will always be stresses at work. I’m so sorry - we can’t magic them away!
But when the CIPD talk about resilience, they make it very clear that the responsibility cannot just sit with the employee. Managers, relationships and the wider environment all affect how resilient someone can be.
How to work on your resilience at work
I won’t be able to solve all your struggles with this one article, but I can give you some starting points.
1.Think about how you can regain control
Very often I’ll see women who are doing similar jobs to their peers, or friends, and they wonder how on earth they seem to be holding it all together, while inside they themselves are crumbling.
Resilience starts with control.
Those around you are likely to feel more in control of their circumstances. When you experience true autonomy over your life and situation, the stress response changes. Which is why you can drop a bottle of milk on the floor and break down when moments before you were managing a team of 15 people through that new launch. Resilience isn’t about how much pressure you’re feeling. It’s about how powerless you feel. Change that feeling, increase your resilience.
2.Don’t believe the myth that the absence of a stress response means you’re resilient
Resilient people still experience stress. It’s a natural response. The cortisol rises, the heart races, there’s disappointment and anger.
What a resilient person has is the ability to return to a baseline afterwards. Which means they’re ready to go again.
So, if you’re wondering why you can usually cope in high-stress situations, with everyone telling you how “calm” you seem, when behind closed doors there’s an entirely different picture, it might be you’re someone who takes a lot longer to return to a healthy baseline. And that needs addressing because that is the silent path to burnout in women.
3.Having time off from work means mentally, not just physically
When you think that a lack of resilience being a cause of burnout in women at work, one of the first things that seems sensible to do is to have some time off. Take a short break or a holiday.
These are obviously great things to do to recharge. But what about the other “in-between” times? The 8pm on the sofa scrolling emails or planning tomorrow’s presentation in your head.
Switching off mentally and disengaging from work when you’re physically not there will improve your recovery time no end.
Is it any wonder we’re experiencing less resilience when work follows us home through phones and emails?
What could you do to have more “mental” recovery time away from work?
4.A lack of challenge at work can actually hamper resilience
It might feel like going against the grain, but if you don’t have challenges, you don’t tend to build much confidence. Exposing yourself to healthy amounts of challenge builds capability because it sends the message to your brain that you can cope. It says “here’s the evidence”. No evidence, no room for capacity.
But. (There is a but). Overwhelming stress does NOT make you more confident or stronger. There is a balance to be had. Are you allowing that balance to happen in a healthy way?
5.Build resilience at work socially, not in isolation
When you picture resilience, do you picture someone trudging along, gritting their teeth as they push through the uncomfortable? Yep - that’s common. Do you see anyone else in that picture? Nope - that’s common too.
We’re made to think that resilience is something we build alone. It’s our responsibility. But humans are social creatures, and our stress can be lessened through meaningful support and connections. Being in trusted relationships where you can talk through solutions is a really effective resilience mechanism. “A problem shared is a problem halved”.
6.Resilience can decline at work
If you’re a high-achieving woman, you’re more likely to be able to operate tired and stressed while being overloaded. It’s become the norm, and you’ve built great resilience for it. Your performance is high, but it’s stagnated. And now you’re using more and more internal resources to get the same output. So you push harder.
This is resilience in decline. And it is very often missed in those high-achieving roles.
When we think about resilience in the workplace, we think about it in terms of how much one person can take on. Or how hard someone can be pushed to achieve outstanding high performance.
But actually, I think we need a more modern viewpoint; it needs to be about how quickly you can regain perspective, energy and decision-making capacity after experiencing pressure.
If you were to think about resilience like that, you’ll be far less likely to burnout and sustain more resilience in the long term.
If you’d like to explore how I help high-achieving women like you to build resilience based on your unique personal circumstances, working through my holistic approach so that we leave no stone uncovered, book a call with me here.
FAQS about building resilience at work
What is resilience at work? Resilience at work is being able to recover from the inevitable stressful situations that work brings. Resilience means being able to recover after experiencing pressure. What it doesn't mean is avoiding stress completely or pretending to yourself and others that everything is fine.
How can I build resilience at work? It varies for everyone, but generally it starts with the realisation that you have control, giving yourself the power and autonomy to switch off mentally, reaching out for support and exposing yourself to challenges that are manageable so that you can start building capacity.
Does being resilient mean that you don't get stressed? Sadly not! Resilient people still experience stress and frustration. The key difference is that they recover more quickly and return to a healthy baseline instead of remaining in a prolonged state of stress.
Can resilience help prevent burnout? Absolutely. Burnout is the result of being in a constant state of stress. When you understand resilience, you give yourself the power to recover from stress, meaning burnout is far less likely.
Why do I cope well at work but fall apart at home? This is common among high achieving women. You’ve learned to adapt and suppress the stress during the day, and so it comes out at night. Often people don’t connect the two because they feel “fine” at work.
Can taking time off improve resilience? Yes – but only until the next stressful event! True resilience is not a quick fix, but a lifelong understanding and work in progress to understand all the other holistic approaches you need to take for your personal circumstances. If it were that simple, then we would all be super resilient!
Why is it important to switch off from work mentally? Mental recovery allows your brain and nervous system to recover from any workplace stress. Just like sleeping helps your brain to clean out and reset. Without it, your body can remain in a heightened stress state, increasing the risk of exhaustion and burnout.
How does social support improve resilience at work? When we have strong relationships with trusted colleagues, managers, friends or mentors, we have someone else to work through difficult situations with, which is more effective than trying to cope alone.
Can resilience decrease over time? Absolutely. We are all a work in progress. Me included! Even highly resilient people can experience declining resilience if they spend long periods working under sustained pressure without recovery. Over time what happens is the same level of performance can require increasing amounts of energy. And it’s not always immediately noticeable.
What are the signs that my resilience is declining? Signs can include feeling constantly exhausted, taking longer to recover after stressful days, finding everyday tasks overwhelming, struggling to make decisions and needing to work harder to achieve the same results.
What's the difference between resilience and simply pushing through? Pushing through does not create resilience, despite what you might have been told. Because that means ignoring your needs and continuing despite exhaustion and stress. Resilience is about adapting, recovering and protecting your long-term wellbeing.
Is resilience my responsibility? Not entirely. While you can develop resilience skills, employers and managers also play an important part by creating supportive workplaces, healthy workloads and psychologically safe environments.
Can high achievers still struggle with resilience? High achievers often become very skilled at performing under pressure! It might be what brought you to this article. That niggling feeling that you’re not as resilient as you once were. You can hide the early signs of declining resilience. This makes you particularly vulnerable to burnout if recovery is neglected.
